


If you drink, don't deduce

by Iolanfg



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19791331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolanfg/pseuds/Iolanfg
Summary: Sitting on the carpet in the corner, illuminated only by the flashlight of the mobile phone that didn't stop vibrating, Greg made an imperative gesture so that it would approach.- Come in and close the door, come on!





	If you drink, don't deduce

**Author's Note:**

> Everything belongs to Doyle, Moffat and Gatiss.  
> Written for the challenge of the Facebook group Mystrade is our division Writters and readers: A story with the word "Close."  
> English is not my first language, this was translated with the translator Deepl, sorry for any error.  
> Thanks for reading!

\- I came as soon as I could. What are you doing down here?

\- Close the door!

\- Gregory?

Sitting on the carpet in the corner, illuminated only by the flashlight of the mobile phone that didn't stop vibrating, Greg made an imperative gesture so that it would approach.

\- Come in and close the door, come on!

Mycroft obeyed.

\- What are we doing?

Greg gave him his "thank goodness you're the smart one" look.

\- We're hiding.

Resigned, Mycroft took off his jacket and sat next to him.

\- Oh, good. And what, if you may know, are we hiding from?

\- Sherlock, of course.

\- Oh, right. Of course. And why am I hiding from my brother in the basement of my own house?

\- ...

\- Gregory?

\- I may have been talking to Molly this morning.

\- About?

\- You know she and Sally are always scheduling appointments for me...

\- A bad habit I offered to correct...

\- Yeah, look, no, we already talked about terrorizing my friends, okay?

\- MMm...

\- Okay. So maybe, just maybe, I suggested that I was already interested in someone. And what was sure that person was right for me...

\- Uh-huh.

\- Someone intelligent, attractive, with a great sense of humour hidden behind a veil of sarcasm and disdain...

Mycroft drew a smug smile.

\- Really? Someone elegant, incredibly patient and extraordinarily talented in bed? 

Greg rolled his eyes.

\- Extraordinarily conceited and a bit of an idiot too...

Mycroft chuckled.

\- Well, that still doesn't explain why we're sitting in the dark on a carpet full of God knows how many species of mites in a basement and talking in whispers.

\- The thing is, I needed your brother's help to reopen a cold case, and I had a trial in court, so I sent Sally to Baker Street, even though it was her day off.

\- Well...

\- Your brother wasn't there, but Molly was having tea with Mrs. Hudson...

Greg thought he could hear Mycroft's brain gears starting to work, starting to understand.

\- Oh, no...

\- Oh, yes... Apparently, by the time your brother arrived they had finished tea and started the wine.

\- Oh....

\- And as soon as Sherlock and John arrived, they began to make deductions between everyone and...

Mycroft looked at him with the expression he adopted when he was about to say "I warned you".

Greg looked at it with the expression he adopted when he wanted to say, "Don't even think about saying you warned me." 

Mycroft just sighed.

\- Oh, God...

\- Exactly. When I came out of court I had twelve Sherlock texts, ranging from "For lack of brain at least you have good taste" to "How could you do this to me?" There were two voice messages of Sally, but they were laughing so much that I didn't understand what she was saying. John also left a message wondering what kind of friend I am. 

\- Oh, please...

\- The superintendent left me a message saying that he obviously respected my right to privacy, and then asked me if I had gone mad and suggested a psychological test.

\- Already...

\- And your mother called me. Why does your mother have my number, by the way? Well, anyway, " They've always liked me" and they think I'm going to make their Son very happy. I am literally "a gift from heaven". Mrs. Hudson wrote something about the surprises life gives us and how love can arise when you least expect it on her Facebook profile and now my mother wants to see me this weekend.

Mycroft groaned, burying his head in his hands as the entrance door opened with a big bang and voices and quick steps could be heard up the stairs. Sherlock's baritone voice resounded in the mansion.

\- Mycroft!!! Damn it, Mycroft, I know you're here! It's an emergency! I need your help!

Greg moved closer to Mycroft, ignoring his expression of disgust at being dragged down the dusty carpet.

The footsteps went down the steps again.

\- Mycroft, do something!

\- Okay, if you let go of me I can go talk to him and ...

Greg pulled his shirt, making it fall on him.

\- You can't get out! He's hysterical!

\- Sherlock, let's get out of here! I don't feel like spending the night in the MI6 quarters.

John's voice sounded frustrated.

\- Mycroft, I think...

Greg forgot what he thought when he saw Mycroft's calculating, mischievous expression. Without warning, Mycroft's mouth closed on he, hungry, his tongue demanding that he let it in while his nimble fingers began to pull the buttons off his shirt.

The basement door knocked against the wall.

\- Uh-huh, here you are! We have a problem, the idiot Lestrade has fallen in love with me and I don't know how to tell him what ...

Sherlock stopped in the middle of the room, his brain processing the image in front of him: Gregory Lestrade half seated, half lying, leaning on the wall with his shirt unbuttoned and his brother on him. John, stunned, stopped by his side. Greg tried to raise his head, but Mycroft's hand on his neck prevented him from moving, without letting him break the kiss.

\- What the hell...? Lestrade, you were supposed to be in love with me! How could you be unfaithful to me? And with Mycroft of all people!

John looked at the detective advisor, exasperated and incredulous.

\- Sherlock! I think we should go...

\- But he's cheating on me!

\- You're not in a relationship, Sherlock! He's not cheating on you!

\- But John, my mother was already preparing the wedding!

\- Yeah, and you were traumatized thinking about how you were going to break Greg's heart by telling him you considered him just your friend!

\- Yes, but...

\- Let's go. Now.

\- No! Mycroft has taken my ... Well, I don't know what he took from me but he took something from me. What do you have to say in your defense, Mycroft! ?

Mycroft separated at the end of the DI, without turning around, with a funny smile as he looked at Greg.

\- Close the door on your way out, Sherlock. Or stay in a corner and don't bother us, whichever you prefer. This will take a while...

Greg chuckled, as Sherlock's eyes grew larger before he left with a dramatic swirl of his coat and a disgusted sound, as John continued to run. 

The two laughed when the door slammed.

\- God, you know it will take years to convince your mother that you didn't steal your little brother's boyfriend, right?

\- Oh, yeah, I know. You're going to have to work very hard to compensate me...

He gave her a playful look as he lightly rubbed his hardness against Greg's leg. The policeman gasped, excited.

\- Well, I guess it's my fault for wanting to keep it a secret. I think I'd better start compensating you...

****

\- Yes, Mother, I am absolutely convinced that Gregory has never been in love with Sherlock.  
\- ….  
\- Yes, mother, of course I am absolutely convinced that Sherlock has never felt anything for Gregory.  
\- …  
\- Yes, Mother, of course Sherlock is angry. It's his natural state, mother.  
\- ….  
\- Yes, mother, of course I take into account my brother's feelings.  
\- …  
\- Yes, Mother, of course I think Sherlock will be able to overcome his non-existent love disappointment.  
\- ….  
\- Yes, mother, of course I am absolutely convinced that I have been in a secret relationship with DI Lestrade for three years because I want to be with him and not for to bother Sherlock.  
\- …  
\- Yes, mother, of course I am very ashamed not to have warned you of my change of sentimental situation...

Mycroft closed his eyes as the bridge of the nose was pressed, wondering how many times they would have to repeat that conversation and whether it would be frowned upon to deport his family to Siberia for a season. He decided to ignore Anthea's attempts not to burst out laughing.

Greg sighed at Mrs. Hudson's disapproving look as he opened the door at 221 Baker Street.  
\- For the umpteenth time, Mrs. Hudson, I have not abandoned Sherlock for his brother. I've never had anything with Sherlock. I've never wanted anything to do with Sherlock. Sherlock has never wanted anything to do with me.  
\- Oh, yeah, sure, of course.....

He shook his head and went up the stairs. At least he had gotten rid of the psychological exam when he explained to his supervisor that, while he had a sentimental relationship with a Holmes, it was with the eldest of them, not the Yard's personal chaos maker. The man seemed so relieved that Greg feared that his superior might embrace him. 

He had also earned Sally and Molly's promise to leave the deductions in the hands of the professionals. And of course, he had forced them to swear that they would not try to deduce anything at all after drinking.


End file.
